This isn't news: Prenups get a bad rap.
The partner who wants one is presumed to not trust the other or to doubt the longevity of the marriage. Even mentioning the topic of prenuptial agreements can trigger massive blow-ups, being received as audacious if not suspicious or outright insulting.
But why? No really. Pause and consider why.
Hollywood movie tropes... unchecked hearsay that's been embedded in our collective cultural mind...
It’s no secret that money is one of the top issues couples fight about, even in the healthiest of relationships. According to a 2015 survey, 22% of respondents cited “money issues/arguments” as the main factor in their divorces, citing only “basic incompatibility” (which often includes but perhaps is not limited to money) at 43% and infidelity at 28%.
As a family law attorney, let me set the record straight: Prenups ARE sexy!
How is a prenup sexy?
Because it forces you, as a couple, to talk about money - developing trust, transparency, and fostering healthy communication. Allowing your partner to express how they feel about money, their greatest financial triumphs & struggles, can bring you closer together - allowing for connection over a very vulnerable topic.
And what’s more sexy than deeply and intimately connecting with your significant other?
A prenup creates a framework for considering and discussing future events and circumstances - especially as they relate to marital finances.
What happens if one of you is laid off? Or one of you is given a large family inheritance? Or a business venture tanks? Or medical bills rack up?
What about children? Or the purchase of a house?
A prenuptial agreement can help partners draw clean lines between assets and debts. They allow for partners to dictate what is separate property and what is community property, instead of simply allowing default state law to dictate these matters.
Wouldn’t you prefer for you and your partner to do the decision making instead of state law or a judge? Prenuptial agreements put the power into you and your partner’s hands.
Now I know you're sitting here thinking "I wouldn't be spending all this money on a wedding if I wasn't sure I was going to spend the rest of my life with this person."
...Just like the 50% of married folks who ultimately join the divorcee club. No one gets married thinking a divorce is on the horizon.
But as a family law attorney, let me be frank: My primary caseload IS divorce. By a long shot.
Again, 1 out of 2 marriages end in divorce. Heads or tails.
Divorces are messy and expensive - and this is an understatement. In California, a community property state, there is room for divorce to be significantly more chaotic and/or retaliatory than other states.
Make the loving choice(s) TODAY. Be smart AND sexy about your financial futures by crafting a prenuptial agreement.